Today marks the end of my marriage and the beginning of a new journey. I am not sad, I am hopeful for a new day, a new life. I look back over the past 15 years and I am thankful for all the lessons I have learned. I once told my life coach that I had married the wrong man. She replied to me, "no, Marcy, you didn't marry the wrong man. You married the perfect man for you." Brooke, was right, what I didn't realize then that I know now. I didn't make a mistake, I was learning from Scott everyday that I spent with him, a lesson was being learned. I may not have liked the lessons, but obviously the universe felt that I needed them, or they would not have occurred. I learned that I deserved, no change that to, "I deserve" to be treated with respect, no it is not okay for your husband to walk out of the room when you are speaking to him. Yes, you do matter, yes you are special, what you have to say is important. Yes, I am smart even though I don't get straight A's and sometimes, I struggle to learn new things, this does not mean that I am slow or stupid. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to end my struggle with finances, I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be me and not worry about what others think about me. I have the right to say no and not feel guilty about saying no. I deserve to smile, I deserve to laugh, I deserve to live a wonderful life. All of this and more I deserve. One other thing I have learned, Scott did some of these things to me and said, a few but I am the one that many times made the story about all the things above. I made his actions mean all the things I deserve above, not him, me. This is huge for me to realize because, I am the only one that can make me happy. I no longer rely on Scott or anyone else for that matter to make me happy. Happy, love, laughter, all the above is up to me. I love this, I absolutely love this fact, because it means I am free. I don't have to rely on anyone else but me.
To my ex-husband, Scott, I thank you for the beautiful journey we took together. For the two beautiful daughters we created, I could never say thank you enough. You deserve the best, and the best is my wish for you. Many happy and healthy years, this is my wish for you. Love to you.
As I close tonight, I am so grateful for all the people in my life. I am grateful for the challenges I am facing finding a job, there is a lesson in here somewhere and I promise to meet it with optimism.
Thank you, universe for this journey, I am forever grateful.
